It has sure taken me a while to actually get around to putting my thoughts about this race in writing! I suppose this is mainly because I have been quite busy at work and the last thing I want to do at the end of a long day is sit back down in front of the computer, but also because I have very mixed emotions about the race.
Even though it was only 10k, I felt like I had a lot of ups and downs… and even though it was a PB for me, I still wasn’t thrilled with how I raced it. Does that even make sense? If not, let me try and explain :)
For some reason I was very anxious leading into the race. The last few days before it, I felt my nerves grow and grow and I didn’t quite know why. I think, while the distance doesn't scare me at all, I wasn't really sure what to expect from myself going full out for 10k. Anyway, I guess the nerves and anxiety were just pressure I was putting on myself to do well.
Early on in the week I had sort of thought I would be happy to finish around 52-53 minutes. Then, the day before the race (stupidly) I asked Kirsten what she expected to do time-wise and when she told me she planned to be sub 50' I started second guessing my game plan and thinking I should try and keep with her. Anyway, it’s easy enough to see now, but it is not a wise idea to start rethinking your game plan the day before the race in order to try and keep up with someone who has always been significantly faster on the run.
Anyway, with my new plan of “run as hard as I can with Kirsten until I just can’t go anymore” in place, I found myself toeing the line with the thousands of others on what turned out to be a beautiful Sunday morning. I stuck with Kirsten through the 1st km (at about 4:40 – bopping and weaving through people) and at about that time, I realized it was a pace I wasn't going to be able to hold the whole time and that I needed to find my own rhythm. Once I let her go (and watched her disappear into the masses), I settled into what felt like a pretty good pace and a nice rhythm and I was pretty happy with myself through the 5-6k mark. I had a minor mental meltdown in what could have been anywhere between the 5 and a half to 7k mark (I didn’t see any km markers between the 5 and the 8). Luckily I saw Kelly on the side of the road at this time and he offered some helpful words of advice as I “flew” by (and I use the word “flew” very very loosely – maybe “trudged” would be better). From there I tried to push any negative thoughts out of my mind and just focus on my form for the final 3k or so.
I ended up crossing the line in 50:53, which, as I mentioned earlier, is a personal best for me at this distance. I feel I should be happier about this achievement than I am which is weird. I suppose it’s just a slight disappointed in myself for going out too hard and trying to run Kirsten's race rather than my own (it's a mistake I've made before and unfortunately probably one I will make again) and knowing that if I had of started at my own pace and kept it, I may have still finished in a similar time, but that I would have felt better both physically and mentally throughout the race. Who knows for sure though?
At the end of the day, I suppose it’s a good lesson learned as I look ahead to the Shawnigan Half Iron at the end of May. I’m pretty sure Shawnigan is going to be an emotional race and I’m ready to let it just be my race – for better or for worse.
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