We are all mortal.

A few weeks ago Shane asked me a pretty straight forward question. A straight forward question without a straight forward answer.

“Are you afraid to die?”

At the time it seemed like a question that came out of nowhere, but I realize now it didn’t. Shane had recently found out that a buddy he plays hockey with was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer in his liver - and at that time, the doctors were predicting it would take his life. Since that day, he has had surgery to remove the tumour, and from what I know is doing well (although by no means out of the woods yet). I’ve never met him, and yet I find myself thinking about him a lot. I find myself asking, in his situation, would I be afraid?

It was also interesting timing in that I had been asking myself the same question not long before Shane posed it to me. It ran through my mind as I embarked on my first solo bike ride since being on anticoagulants. Setting out on my own was a bit scary, as I thought about the fact that should I crash or be hit, my risk of a severe hemorrhage is much greater. I realize if something like this happens, my riding partner probably won’t be able to do a lot, but I like having that person with me to dial 911 or apply pressure if needed. It offers some comfort knowing you wouldn’t be alone. Morbid thoughts I suppose...

So the question keeps popping into my mind. Am I afraid to die? Am I afraid of death? I keep coming to the same conclusion... no, I don’t think I am. I don’t necessarily believe in heaven or hell (although I do like to think my loved ones who have passed before me are with me in some way) and while I like to believe I’ve had many exciting past lives, I obviously don’t remember them from one lifetime to the next. So why should I be scared?

All that said, I think about how lucky I am. I think about what a great life I have and what I would be leaving behind. I think about all the things I’d still like to do, all the adventures I still expect to have... I suppose when it comes to death, for me at least, it’s more a sense of not feeling ready than of being afraid.

"Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal."
-John F. Kennedy