Lost in a Sea of Change

It's weird, I don't think I truly ever went through the post-IM blues this year.

We had specifically planned for an early season IM with the intention of taking the summer 'off'. To swim, bike, run – all for fun – without the structure of a training plan. To be in the moment and enjoy all that our beautiful island had to offer.  And… if I'm honest, in the back of my mind I knew that I'd likely race the Victoria Half Marathon in October, so really, I did have a goal to look forward to.

The summer was great. The half in October was great. But now that it's done, I feel kind of lost.

Post-IM blues 3.5 months later? Or is it post-half mary blues? I dunno, but it's definitely something.

Shane and I have a lot of big changes happening in our life right now. I'm sure these changes are part of the reason I'm feeling a little off-kilter (hell, I know they are)… But, I think the fact that I have not set any sort of specific plans or goals for next year is contributing to this lost feeling as well.

Pretty much since I started triathlon, picking a goal and training for something specific has been a constant in my life. I've always had a pretty good idea of what was coming next in my athletic life even when I was taking a bit of a break or soaking up the off-season. There has always been a New Goal for a New Year to look ahead too.

Now, when I'm asked “what's next?’ (which is still a question I get a TONNE) I don't have an answer. I have a few things in mind and a few things I'd like to try (learning to mountain bike, joining a running or triathlon club, etc. etc.), but nothing concrete.

I was out for a run the other day, just kind of plodding along, feeling a little down on myself  and like the run had no purpose. I shook myself a little and tried to remind myself that not every run – not every workout – needs a purpose. Sometimes, just getting out the door and being active is enough. 

So I'm holding onto that. Trying to find my new rhythm. Swimming, biking, running, just because. My purpose right now is fun. My purpose is to stay active and to stay healthy – both physically and mentally.

It's a work in progress.