The final dress rehearsal...

I sat down today thinking it was Wednesday and that I should probably try and update the ol’ blog since it feels like it's been forever since I did write something. Then I realized it was Thursday and it’s only been just over a week since I last wrote. Anyway, ramblings aside, I’m a bit shocked at how quickly the past week has gone by. I feel like I’ve been lost in a whirlwind of training and working and wanting to sleep, but not really ever feeling like I’m getting to do that enough. My house and bed seem like this foreign land that I only get to visit in a dream.

I’ve been trying really hard to maintain my positive thinking that I vowed in last week’s blog post, and some days it’s there and comes easily. Then some days I’m overwhelmed with exhaustion and the only outlet is emotion, not necessarily negativity, just emotion. My fear of the unknown (the race) and my need for more sleep seems to come out in tears. Inevitably someone will ask me what is wrong, and my answer is usually “I don’t know.” And really, I don’t, it’s just the way my emotion manifests itself I suppose. In tears.

I went for a massage this morning and Lysanne asked me if I was at that point where I was tired, and sick of training, and just wanted the race to be here and to be done with things. It was weird, I couldn’t help but answer yes – that is exactly how I’ve been feeling. Every feeling she described was pretty much like hitting a nail on the head. She laughed and said “Perfect. You’re right where you should be then.” Oddly, that statement made me feel better.

All that said, while training has been more of a slog this week from a mental standpoint, I’ve been pushing through and getting it done.

As mentioned in my last post, we traveled to Penticton for the long weekend. I had a great chat with Kelly on the Thursday night before we left and was feeling really confident going into the weekend even though I was feeling a bit drained.

On Saturday we took on the bike course. It wasn’t as hot a day as I expect August 29th will be (it was a bit overcast), but it was still warm none the less. The ride felt different from the last time we did it, maybe because I knew what to expect a little bit more. Oddly, Richter felt a little harder than I remembered, and Yellow Lake felt a little easier. Coming back into town and down Main Street we managed to get stopped at every red light and also behind a bus. This stop and start routine sucked a lot of my remaining energy and left me drained for our 20 minute run off the bike. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the best final impression on a day that really wasn’t that bad.

Sunday was time to take on some of the run course. I didn’t feel too bad when I woke up and thought the run would go well. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. As we took our first few steps out of the parking lot at Skaha beach and began heading to OK Falls, I was a bit shocked how tired my legs really were. That said, I think we settled into a nice pace and I felt like everything went really well through the turn around at OK Falls, and even back over the hills on the return trip to Skaha. I think it was probably around the 15/16km mark that I started to fall apart. We hit the flattest part of the run, and I lost focus. My legs began aching with every step. My mind wandered and I questioned my ability. I struggled just to keep up with Kirsten. I wanted to cry. It took me to about 19k to get myself back together. I could do this. It was fine. There was water waiting at the car. Just put one foot in front of the other. I made it back to the car (26k) without walking and was thrilled to be done. Tired and ready to finally relax.

I came out of the weekend a bit shattered, both mentally and physically. I guess really, a bit scared. Thankfully someone reminded me that you never want the dress rehearsal to be your best performance, so I’ve decided I'm putting the weekend behind me and looking ahead. Race day will be different. Better. I can feel it already.