Impostor

It is almost time to leave for NZ, which means it is almost the time when I will compete with the maple leaf across my chest (and my butt) and get to represent Canada at the Age Group World Championships.

It is all very exciting (and slightly nerve-wracking).

I’m not going to lie; I have these moments where I feel like a total impostor. It’s like this weird nightmare where I’m going to land in Auckland and “they” (I don’t know who “they” actually are) are going to figure out that it’s all a big mistake and I shouldn’t actually be there.

It’s a totally silly feeling, I know. I qualified. I am actually competitive at short course. I’m capable of going out there and working hard and laying down a good race… and yet, I’m still oddly waiting for someone to call me out – “IMPOSTOR!” they will shout across a crowded airport and/or race expo.

I keep joking with my family that I hope I don’t come last. As I say, it is a joke. I am pretty confident I won’t be last (but you never really know what can happen race day – and so I am currently knocking on wood), but even if I do come last, I’ll still be happy with the day so long as I cross the finish line knowing that I gave everything I could possible give.

I actually feel pretty ready. I know I’ve got a good race in me and I’m ready to push into that pain zone and see what my body is capable of. I’m ready to leave it all out there.

That said the nerves of the unknown have hit. It’s all so new; from having to pack my bike in a bike box, to not knowing how my body with handle the jet lag after a 14 hour flight, to racing in a foreign country, to… well, you get the idea.

*BIG SIGH* (I’m not feeling overwhelmed or anything, haha).

Regardless, it is happening. It is going to be a great adventure and while nervous, I am so excited and thankful for this experience and can’t wait to proudly represent Canada.

In just a few days I will travel through time. I hear they have “extreme roundabouts” in the future ;)
(Extreme bonus points if you get the reference).