Swim Fail

I had a pretty major swim workout fail yesterday. Major.

And, unfortunately, I think the fail was more to do with some mental crap than it was anything to do with physical failure.

I may or may not have had a few tears coat the inside of my goggles.

I may or may not have muttered “fuck” and “shit” under my breath when the pace clock wasn’t quite where I wanted it to be (or more accurately, when I wasn’t where I wanted to be as the clock ticked past that all important spot).

Oh pace clock, how you taunt me so.

I may or may not have been attempting this workout on about 2 hours of sleep because I was tossing and turning all night fretting about the damn thing like it was the most important race of my life. True story.

So, let’s take it back to the start shall we?

Last Thursday I had a pretty intense swim workout. In the main set, there were some 100m efforts on 1:45 and some 50s on :50. These are times I should be able to hit – granted, without a lot of rest, but I should be able to hit them none the less. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case last Thursday. I was either just hitting the times and not getting any rest, or I was slightly over, in which case I would give myself an extra :03-:05 (for example, I did my second set of 50s on :55).

I had done a pretty intense trainer ride on the Wednesday night before the swim, so I wasn’t super down on myself about missing the times. I knew the workout was meant to challenge me and I felt okay about where I was at (I also felt pretty strongly that I would be able to hit the times in the near future). Kelly agreed that Wednesday night’s trainer session had probably taken a lot out of me, and so I was given Thursday’s workout again on Tuesday morning as he wanted me to have another go at it when I was “a little fresher.”

I’ll admit, when I saw the workout in my calendar again so soon, I was nervous. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I kept telling myself I could do it, but deep down, I’m not sure I believed it. I wanted to hit the times laid out so badly.

Without even realizing I was doing it, I had totally psyched myself out (and in turn, barely slept on Monday night).

The way my mind was going, it was like it was Ironman-eve or something, not a 3000m speed workout in the pool that no one would know I was even doing aside from myself and Kelly. It’s weird how the mind works sometimes.

So, on Tuesday morning (yesterday), I headed to the pool for my second attempt at this beast of a workout. I did my warm up and actually felt pretty good. Unfortunately, it all unravelled pretty quickly after that. I killed my first 50 and then blew my second. Had a solid third 50, and then blew my forth. By the time I began my 100s I was so frustrated and so frazzled, I’m not really sure I could classify what I was doing as swimming. Flailing, thrashing or floundering all might be more accurate and appropriate terms.

So with only about half the workout done, I called it. I quit. I was about half way down the lane and that was it. I stopped. Turned around, breast stroked my way back to the wall and stood there for a few minutes trying to compose myself.

Once I felt like I was composed enough, I did a little cool down. I didn’t want the frazzled flailing/thrashing/floundering to be the last feeling I had when I got out of the pool, so I swam an easy 100 with the best form I could possibly muster before getting out and heading into the gym for my strength workout.

Thank goodness for that strength workout. It definitely helped to take my mind off the swim and reset my mood for the day. Sometimes throwing around some weights can be a really good thing.

Also, thank goodness I had a prearranged meeting with Kelly at lunch yesterday. Sometimes it is good to get the reassurance that one bad workout doesn’t kill a season (of course I know this, but sometimes my rational mind won’t listen). Sometimes it is good to have the perspective of someone else (like a coach) to remind you that these bad workouts are just as important as the good workouts – maybe even more important at times.

Anyway, I’m mostly over my bad swim now. It was what it was and I know I’ll be getting a chance to tackle this same workout again in the very near future. Hopefully I learned a little something on this last attempt and I can adjust my mental game accordingly.


Also, I just realized with this post, my last two ramblings have now been about mental crap - one good, one not so good.

Oh, Ironman training, you are one fickle bitch.